


Till Death Do Us Part

by kegems



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kegems/pseuds/kegems
Summary: "Goodbye Villanelle"
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Till Death Do Us Part

**Author's Note:**

> TW// Mental health, Depression 
> 
> I'm warning. Please please please do not read this if you know your mental wellbeing will be affected.
> 
> I was very nervous to share this and it's my first time writing a proper fic so it isn't the best but I hope you enjoy.

_Eve's POV_

I stare at the river with wide eyes. Am I day dreaming? Maybe. It feels like it. Everything all seems like a blur. The noises around me are muffled. My mind feels as if it's going to explode.

I hear a faint noise but I can't tell what it is.

"Eve."

I look to my right.

It's Villanelle.

There's a layer of moisture around her eyes and it appears to be flowing down her soft cheeks.

"Please..." she pleads.

I'm confused as to why she is gripping my hand so tightly.

"I need you."

It feels like the whole world has stopped and it's just me and my thoughts. They're so loud I can barely hear.

I use the back of my hand to wipe her tears away.

"I can't do this anymore," my voice quivers as those words leave my mouth.

I had been struggling with this so called mental illness for a while now, even though I'm still in denial.

Villanelle pulls me back as if I'm the only thing that's keeping her alive. How ironic, 'keeping her alive'.

"Come home... we can talk about it."

What's the point? Every day is the same. No matter how many conversations we have, I could never be 'convinced' enough to feel like there was a way out.

I don't want to fight anymore.

I'm too tired.

This feeling of numbness had been so comfortable to me for so long that I was afraid to feel any other emotion. How does one feel happy? Or even sad?

She cups my face with her hands and gently kisses me. I could taste the saltiness from her pain.

This is the end. It'll all be over soon.

I knew that life would be less painful for her without me in it.

She would be free.

I never imagined that these would be my last words.

My heart could no longer suppress the hurt that was forcing it's way out. A solemn tear rolls down.

"Goodbye Villanelle."

I make contact with her skin for the very last time. Once my body falls, the soul that had been hanging onto a thread for so long finally disconnects.

Every memory of us together flashes within a heartbeat.

To the first time our eyes met. I will never get to see them ever again.

This woman gave me everything. Protection. Love. Happiness. She made me feel so safe, like the whole world could never hurt us.

I remember when she took me star gazing for the first time, something that I'd always dreamed of seeing. It actually became the most special moment in my life. So unexpectedly, she pulled out a ring and asked to spend the rest of her life with me. Something I hold so close to my heart.

The way that she would come down to the kitchen every morning to wrap her arms around me to give me the softest kisses. I would melt into her warmth.

Maybe Villanelle knew this moment was coming which was why she was so attached every time I came home from work. She'd forgotten about her friends and the things that she loved to do. That's what consumed me the most. Guilt. How selfish could I be to bring this woman into my darkness?

Whenever I asked for some alone time, she wouldn't let me. We were close but emotionally distant. I was draining to be around with. Why did she stay? Why didn't she just leave me for someone who didn't put her through this hell?

But she stayed. She really stayed.

Most of the time, I was never myself.

This monster had taken control over me. Over Eve.

But it was too late now. No more turning back. Only the faint distant cries of a widow.

So many memories, gone but never forgotten. Forever in my heart.

Love, Eve xo

\---

_Villanelle's pov_

I gaze into her deep, dark eyes. There's so much sadness.

She doesn't seem present at the moment.

I would do anything, just anything to take away this awful disease.

This woman that I love so dearly. She didn't deserve any of this.

I knew I would never be able to understand the pain that Eve was going through. Even from months of reading through all these books, I was trying so hard to see from her point of view.

The only thing that I could do best was to protect her.

I needed her to stay.

Time was running out.

I really can't imagine my life without her in it.

Yes, I was tired but you will do everything for the person you love most.

One time I slapped Eve out of anger. I knew it was wrong but it was so sudden and out of character. Was I hoping it'll snap her out of her head? Yes.

It didn't work unfortunately.

To this day, I still feel like that's what made things worse. Maybe she thought I no longer loved her.

That wasn't true. I just missed the old Eve that used to smile all the time.

God, I miss everything.

It would be so selfish of me to let her stay.

I just wish she could see past the horrible things that her mind let her believe she was.

I knew Eve wasn't just her mental illness. She was so much more. A kind, caring, understanding, loving and humble soul.

She is my whole world.

How about the vows that we promised each other?

You said you would never leave.

Mental illness ruins lives. It ruined the only person that meant so much to me.

Why her? Why my sweetheart Eve?

I just keep thinking that if she stayed just a bit longer, we could have spent more time together and maybe just maybe... she'll get better.

But that won't happen.

There's no future for us both.

Then it hit me. That daunting feeling.

What am I going to do? Who will care for me when Eve's gone?

Forever alone.

I'll come home to an empty house with no one to cuddle with, spend time with, or share memories with anymore.

My heart breaks.

I kiss her, savouring the moment for the very last time. Breathing in her scent, that I'll no longer have.

No one had ever witnessed my vulnerability before. Eve was special enough to see it.

My vision became more blurry by the minute from the wetness welling up.

I press my forehead against hers.

"What's going to happen?" I ask.

She breathes a sigh of relief, "Close your eyes."

Do I hate her for this? I do. But you can't feel like that before a loved one leaves. That'll be the only thing I remember.

I don't want to look. I can't look.

"Goodbye Villanelle."

I arrive home and the first thing I do is go under the covers. It feels more colder than usual. I take Eve's pink stuffed toy bear I gave to her for our first valentine's together and wrap my arms around it tightly. On the verge of tears, I finally let myself go.

Until we meet again...


End file.
